How do you feel when you see another suffering? Do you feel the need to “do” something? Do you feel the need to help? To rescue or save them from that lesson or experience? Do you feel it is your “responsibility?” Does their age or gender make a difference in your feelings?
I have been looking at these questions for myself. I realized that much of my desire to “save” another from what I perceived as their suffering came from my desire to feel better. That was an eye opener. I wanted to feel better. I wasn’t feeling good about the situation. If I took my desire to not feel the way I was feeling out of the equation, then what? I would have to let go of my thoughts of how to do it right, of judgements of was right and wrong….of justice and fairness. Then I looked at if I could do all that…would I still need to interfere in that experience?
I have always remembered something my father told me when I was young, “Cathy, it’s not the good times that build your character; it’s the adversity that makes you who you are.” So I am taking another look at this. At what is interference and what is respecting the right of another to make their own choices and perhaps mistakes. To allow another to learn their own lessons. In short, to allow another to build their character and grow.
I often wonder if this looks like I don’t care, but I do. I am just “caring” a different way. Lately, I have had many opportunities test this, to just hand situations over to God/Universe. What I am learning is to release my personal judgments and agendas and simply hold the space with loving intention for the best possible outcome. I am learning to trust that what is happening (regardless of how it appears) has purpose, and to trust that if I am to intervene in anyway I will be guided as to how to do that.
When you let go….Miracles seem to happen!