This is the “Who Are You?” series of blogs. They start at the bottom and end at the top.
Balance:
There are many ways you bring balance into your life….and there are many ways to have balance. Being “in balance” will benefit you and your life. Recognizing some of the many types of energy where balance is needed is therefore helpful. Once you have recognized the need for balance in a particular area you can then begin to shift toward it.
These are three important areas where we seek balance:
Male/Female Energy
Ego/Personality and Soul/Spirit
Giving and Receiving
Being in balance does not necessarily mean equal. I often have the visual of the Scales of Justice when I think of balance. Yet those are equally balanced. This way to look at balance is not like that. Balance comes when each energy is in balance and accessible to you; it is balance with it’s partner; you are able to tap into each as needed; and you can shift from one to the other with ease.
For instance, the balance between Male and Female Energy is not Male/Female as we typically think of it, as masculinity and femininity. Male Energy is focused, direct, and action/movement oriented. It is “doing” energy and it has tremendous value in your life. Female Energy is creative, diffuse, collaborative or “being” oriented. Also, extremely valuable. You can see the need for balance between the two, and that healthy balance requires it to be constantly shifting. The Male Energy needing at times to be primary and supported by the Female Energy…..and at other times the Female will be most prominent with the Male as supporting energy.
What does this look like? Think of a creative project. The Feminine will help you bring in the creative energy. It will allow you to be present, to be available to “be.” The Masculine will help you focus and to “do” what you need to do to bring your creation into the physical. Perhaps, even market or drive some benefit from your creation. The Female creating, the Male producing. This is one way of balance between the two.
Another area of balance is between living from your Ego/Personality and from your Soul/Spirit. You need your ego to live in the physical plane. It is the part of you that makes you human and allows you to have a physical experience. I have never been a supporter of the theory that you must crush, or eliminate, the ego. However, balance with your Soul, with “who you really are,” is needed. Remember that your imprinting began when you were born, and that imprinting is an “overlay” on your Soul. As you have grown, initially receiving much imprinting, you created your belief system. Through aging, through maturity, you then started throwing off those limiting beliefs that did not suit you. This is the process of life….and as you have cleared and released old imprinting you have revealed more and more of your essence, your Soul.
Your Ego/Personality is necessary for it is what makes the mistakes or poor choices, and can dwell in negativity….and that is what gives you the contrast and allows a choice to live more in alignment with your Soul.
Last comes the balance between giving and receiving. True giving comes from a place that requires nothing in return. Taken into it’s most balanced, or neutral state, it does not even require gratitude or appreciation in return. It is merely the act of giving. It is not done with any personal agenda on the part of the giver. In other words, not done because I need to, but rather simply because I can. That is true giving. It comes from the soul.
Giving from the ego/personality becomes about the self. I would feel better if you were not suffering; if I did not have to witness your suffering. (Please note the judgment in this. Because I am observing a circumstance that I believe is suffering, then you must be suffering.)
Receiving is actually often times far more difficult. You may be an amazing “giver” and not able to receive, or the opposite may be true for you. You may be great at receiving, but not able to give. Often receiving is confused with “taking.” They are very different. True receiving is determined by your sense of worthiness and value. You may even seem to be great at receiving, but never able to hold onto what you receive. That then, is a “havingness” issue and can be about your sense of worth. It’s the scenario of “all these wonderful things and opportunities show up for me (I receive), but I can’t hold on to them (have).
Coming into balance with these aspects of your life is a blessing….and indeed with the balance comes many blessings. Enjoy!!
Judgement
Judgement is insidious. It is something so ingrained into our culture that it is often not seen for what it is. Many religions tell you that you were born not worthy. Right out of the chute, there is something “wrong” with you! Wow! That God has judged you as unworthy from the very beginning is a pretty big cross to bear. And that is just the beginning……
You have been labeled as “good” or “bad” often. Judged on your achievements and accomplishments rather than acknowledged for “who” you are. Even Santa judges you, asking “Were you a good little boy/girl?” You were taught comparison and competition…..deluged by media examples of “perfection.” You have been judged your entire life. Then at the end of your life what do you have to look forward to? Judgement Day.
With all this judgement going around is it any wonder that you judge yourself and others on a continual basis? But this is in direct opposition to your Worthiness. It creates guilt, blame, and victim consciousness. It takes away your authentic, personal power.
It also comes from within. When you find yourself judging others, look inside. There will be some kind of mirror if you look deep enough. Perhaps you will discover you behave in the same way, make the same choices, and wish you didn’t. Or, it could be the exact opposite. It may be that what you are judging is reflecting back to you something you wish you had, something you are missing, a quality or even something material. So, observing your judgements can be a great tool for growth, if you use the observation to shift.
To truly step into your Personal Power, requires letting go of the mentality of judgement. It requires taking responsibility for the direction of your life, and the choices you make. This is the path to the life you desire.
Responsibility
Your ultimate responsibility is to yourself. To love and care for your body, your mind, your emotions and your spirit. How well you do this will determine your level of “happiness” in this life. It is your responsibility to understand and fill your inner needs. It is your responsibility to seek your sense of worthiness………And you have the privilege, the opportunity, and the right, to do all these things through a not-so-little thing called Free Will. That is the gift of being human.
Why is it then that this gift is so often feared? Have you reached a point in your life where you have thrown off this learned tendency of looking outward for the definition of your life? The judgmental mentality you grew up with in this culture is in direct opposition to the concept that you have, not only the responsibility, but the power to exert choice in any given moment. To direct the flow of your life.
What is so scary about taking ultimate responsibility for your life anyway? Will you make mistakes? Yes! But if they are your mistakes you can do something about them. If you give your power over to someone else, make them responsibile for whether or not you are happy and your needs are met, they will make mistakes too, but other than having someone to blame, you won’t be able to do anything about it. When you give your power away you are disempowered, plain and simple. You allow yourself to become a Victim to the circumstances of another’s making. Ugh!!!
That brings us all the way around and back to Free Will. Taking charge of your own life, creating your own health, managing your own world, finding and fulfilling your purpose all comes from choice. It all comes from within. The most powerful thing you have is your choice. The choices of how you treat your body, the choices of what you believe, the choice of your companions in life, the choice of your job/career. You have choice and that choice is power. It is the most power you have. When you step into this place of responsibility for yourself its not as scary as you fear. It is empowering. It is the most powerful you will ever feel!
Needs
Do you know what your personal needs are? You have basic human needs….food, water, shelter, air, etc. But you have individual, inner needs, too. We all do. These needs create a craving, a longing within. They are your inner yearnings. These needs present themselves more in the form of feelings. Some of these are freedom, creativity, expression, connection, adventure, a sense of purpose. (You get the idea.) These needs are more like qualities in and of your life. So, do you know what your inner needs are?
If you look outside of yourself, to your external life, to satisfy your inner needs you are not alone. Most people do, not even realizing that this is what is happening. The origin of this may be based in the way western culture seems to disempower rather than teach that you are the creator of your life. Were you taught how powerful you are? That you create with your thoughts? Think about what would your life look like if you had been taught to recognize your inner needs and that you have the power to fulfill them by how you think and the choices you make in life. Do you think you can create that for yourself in the present?
Science/physics has proven that you, as a physical human being, are electromagnetic. The very physical operation of your body, the organs, and body systems create electromagnetic energy. It is said that your heart can create an electromagnetic field that can extend outward to 8 meters!! Likewise, your thoughts and emotions create electromagnetic energy. This means that you have the power to create change by changing the focus of your thoughts. Do you believe that what you think about has the power to manifest in your life?
As a baby you had a combination of needs that required external and internal focus. You “needed” to depend upon others for your physical needs, but your instinctive drive for maturation pushed you from the inside to learn and grow. To develop. You also did not always look outside of yourself for your emotional expression. You expressed what you were feeling, at least in the beginning, before you began to observe the world around you. That is when imprinting started to creep in. You began to observe the “right” way to respond in various situations, the “right” thing to do. It was reinforced by the encouragement and praise you received when you modeled the “right” behavior.
At some point in your life, hopefully, you began to learn what is most important to YOU. What your personal needs are..and then take on the responsibility of fulfilling them. Where you are in that journey can be affected by many factors, age certainly being one of them. It is no coincidence that with age comes wisdom. Much of it comes from self discovery. But no matter where you are in this journey of discovering what you truly desire in life, and how strongly, it is never too late to jump on board and create a life you truly love. A life that feels balanced…one in which you feel present.
I urge you to take a few minutes and identify your longings….your inner needs. Ask yourself how you can satisfy them within the structure of your present life, and/or what you can shift or change your life to gently bring them into being. It is by bringing them into your present life that you create the future you desire!!
Worthiness
When you look at an infant, a 1 year old, a toddler, what do you see? What I see is that they know without a doubt that they are the center of their universe. They have little fear, still have trust….they are totally tapped into their desires, naive and innocent. They do not see any darkness or negativity in the world. They do not understand suffering. They expect immediate gratification. They are perfect.
Before imprinting begins, when you are that baby, your innate sense of worthiness is strong . Your first imprinting comes from your family of origin. Whether spoken or not you got your sense of your worth by how you were valued in your family. Children are very energy sensitive. As a child you did not have to be told your value, you sensed it from those around you. That was just the beginning……
Then came imprinting from the media, your religion or church, your school, and certainly from your peers. Imprinting goes on and on. Each piece shaped your sense of your worthiness. Much of your imprinting probably taught you that it is what you do that determines your value, often more or equally, as important as who you are. From an early age much of what you learned about life emphasized the external pieces…..achievement, winning, success. And the ever present gauges that you have used to judge your own worth, and that of others, has been comparison and competition. These handy, and often unhealthy, tools have rounded out the external focus by which you learned to determine worth. Here is the kicker…..it was all an illusion, a lie!!!
The truth is you are here…..you have worth. How you choose to share it, what you do to build upon that worth is what brings value to your life. Your worth is a given. You are worthy AND you can choose to offer value to the world by how you express yourself.
When you make choices in alignment with your soul/spirit your choices are based on honesty, compassion, love and integrity. You allow your “worth” to shine through. Being in alignment with your values and allowing your worthiness to shine is of service to your life, the consciousness of humanity, and the world at large.
Who Are You?
Who are you? Does who you are change depending on the relationship? Are you one person in this relationship, and a different person in that one? Is who you are defined by what you perceive another needs from you?
If the answer to these questions is “yes” you may benefit from considering the following:
1. Worthiness. Your innate worthiness is not determined by who you please, or what you give…..rather by your sense of self. Your personal, intimate relationship with yourself and understanding that your “worth” is that you are here. You cannot earn your worthiness….You are born with it. Your job is to recognize it, not earn it.
2. Needs. You have the responsibility to recognize and meet your own needs. Your needs are inner yearnings…they are what you long for. No one can satisfy your needs for you…..you must fill them yourself, from the inside.
3. Responsibility. Your responsibility, first and foremost, is to yourself. To love, honor, respect and fill yourself with gratitude for your ability to love, beginning with the first person in any equation…..You.
4. Judgement. If you judge your own worthiness, you will judge the worthiness of others. If you judge that your needs are not being met, you will judge others as needy. When you judge yourself as lacking in some way it is an indication of your imprinting, and when you look through the filter of your imprinting you will judge others.
5. Balance. You must recognize the need for and continually shift toward, balance. There is the balance of Masculine/Feminine energy, the balance of Ego/Personality and Soul/Spirit; there is the balance of Giving and Receiving. You must seek this balance in many ways.
If you spend your life trying to make others feel worthy, to please them and/or try to fill their needs…..you are doing just that….Spending your Life. These are all aspects of being human. You must address them from within. Each of us must travel our own version of this path. You must allow those in your life the right to travel their version of the path too.
If you can love yourself to this degree…..you will love others as well. When you are unconditional with yourself, you will be unconditional with others. When you are grateful for “who” you are…..you will be filled with gratitude for not only those in your life, but you will be Grateful For Your Life.
Spend your life in Love and Gratitude. Love Yourself!!